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Emotional Intelligence

Updated: Oct 4

Hi ladies, let me ask you a question.

Have you ever said or done something you’ve deeply regretted? There may be times when you allow your emotions to take over your sense of reasoning. It is easy for them to take control when we have so many. The five basic emotions are joy, sadness, fear, disgust, and anger however, they can all split into many more feelings like jealousy, nervousness, disappointment, gratefulness, contentedness, and satisfaction. Environmental stressors can also trigger our emotional outbursts, but they can still be controlled. Anyone can learn to master their emotions. Which is basically the definition of emotional intelligence.

Dr. Daniel Goleman described emotional intelligence in his book as "a person's ability to manage their feelings so that those feelings are expressed appropriately and effectively”. Another definition I found is “The ability to manage both your own emotions and understand the emotions of the people around you.” That is the one I like the most. Basically, emotional intelligence is learning how to master your emotions and having the ability to understand the emotions of others. Here are three basic ways to start learning how to master your emotions.

Recognize and analyze your emotions.

If you cannot put into words how or what you are feeling, it’s difficult to master that emotion. But before you can express what you’re feeling, you must actually learn what it is that you’re feeling. For example, ask yourself these three questions when you are experiencing a strong emotion.

· what are you feeling?

· when did you start feeling that way?

· what caused you to feel that particular feeling?

If you can practice asking yourself these questions, it will help you learn how to be more specific with what you are actually feeling. For example, instead of just saying you are angry, but you don’t know why. If you ask yourself the three questions, you may discover that you are anxious, frustrated, or even scared. Learning how to recognize and analyze your emotions is a great way to start your journey of learning and practicing emotional intelligence.

Practice emotional intelligence

When you practice emotional intelligence often, it can help you understand what you are feeling in any situation, and you can appropriately express your response to fit the situation. For example, if you spill something on your shirt, instead of letting that one accident ruin your whole day and cause you to speak badly about yourself, master your emotion so you can figure out your next step so you can move on and enjoy the rest of your day. Emotional intelligence helps you to learn how to show empathy towards yourself and others. Just because you make a mistake or have an accident, it doesn’t define who you are. It’s just that, an accident. So be kind to yourself and practice self-care.

Exercise Self-care

There are many ways to employ self-care in your daily life. Self-care plays an important role in helping to master your emotions. According to New Mexico Highlands University and physics professor Earnest Greene, they have found walking can increase the blood flow to the brain, which creates mental clarity.

Exercise also decreases the chances of ruminating thoughts thus improving overall mental wellness. Another way to exercise self-care is getting proper rest, drinking an adequate amount of water, and engaging in healthy socialization. Having friends to socialize with helps you balance your life and let out your emotions. Prayer, meditation, and mindfulness are wonderful contributors to exercising self-care and will greatly benefit you as you practice emotional intelligence.


Love and Blessings,

Dr. Doris